Анна Шиман
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Personality psychology. The superiority and inferiority complex. Alfred Adler
Alfred Adler holds a special place in the world of psychology thanks to his distinctive views on human nature and the motives behind behaviour. One of Adler’s key concepts is the balance between striving for superiority and the feeling of inferiority. These two sides of our psyche play an important part in shaping self-esteem and behaviour. Let us look at how to find harmony between these opposites.
Superiority and inferiority: two sides of the same coin
Alfred Adler held that all people feel inferior to some degree. This feeling comes from being aware of our own weaknesses and limitations. Yet it is precisely this feeling of inferiority that drives a person to strive for superiority — to want to become better, stronger, cleverer.
The feeling of inferiority can be both a source of motivation and a cause of suffering. In its healthy form it prompts us to develop, to learn, to reach new heights. But if it becomes excessive, it can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.
Striving for superiority, on the other hand, can be constructive when it is directed towards personal growth and self-improvement. But it can turn destructive if it shows itself as aggression, a wish to dominate or an urge to belittle others in order to raise oneself up.
The superiority-inferiority complex forms in early childhood under the influence of various factors:
Relationships with parents and with other children in the family play an important part. Excessive criticism, comparison with other children or too much praise can lead to an inferiority or a superiority complex. Physical or emotional traumas in childhood can give rise to a feeling of inferiority, which is later compensated in adulthood by a drive to be superior to other people. Children with chronic illnesses or physical limitations may feel less valuable, which feeds an inferiority complex. Success and failure in their studies and in the social life of school can strongly affect a child’s self-esteem. The judgement of teachers and peers often plays an important part. Constantly comparing oneself with other children and adults builds a feeling of inferiority or, on the contrary, of superiority.
Parents play a central part in shaping a child’s self-esteem and self-perception, which may ultimately lead to a superiority-inferiority complex. Their behaviour, parenting style, emotional support and interaction with the child lay the foundation for the child’s psychological development.
How does this happen?
The influence of parenting style
Here we can single out three different styles that shape the balance of superiority and inferiority in a child’s psyche:
The authoritarian style: parents set strict rules, demand unquestioning obedience and rarely show warmth or understanding. Children brought up in an authoritarian environment often feel inferior because of constant pressure and criticism. They may develop low self-esteem, self-doubt and a fear of failing to live up to their parents’ high expectations.
The permissive style: parents set few boundaries in the family, and set them poorly (between themselves and with the child), and rarely use discipline, giving children complete freedom of action. Without clear boundaries and structure, such children may struggle to develop self-control and responsibility. They may develop a sense of superiority, feeling that they are allowed everything, or, on the contrary, a sense of inferiority from a lack of support and guidance.
The authoritative style: parents set reasonable boundaries while showing warmth, understanding and support. Children raised in this style usually develop healthy self-esteem. They feel loved and valued, which builds self-confidence and lessens the harm of the superiority-inferiority complex.
Emotional support and acceptance shape a child’s outlook, and they too can vary:
Unconditional love: parents who show unconditional love and acceptance help children feel valuable and worthy regardless of their successes and failures. This gives children a solid foundation for healthy self-esteem and makes an inferiority complex, or striving for superiority as a way of compensating, less likely. To become parents like that, work on your own development and grow as a person, correct the flaws in your character, work through your childhood experience, learn to understand emotions and to express feelings sincerely, while being able to set boundaries and say a firm “no”.
Criticism and comparison: frequent criticism and comparison with other children can do serious damage to a child’s self-esteem. Children who are constantly criticised and compared may develop a feeling of inferiority, a sense that they will never be able to reach the ideal their parents have set.
Praise and reinforcement: excessive or unfounded praise can also be harmful, giving a child inflated expectations of themselves. In that case a child may develop a strong feeling of superiority, believing they must always be better than everyone, which leads to narcissistic tendencies and an inability to accept failure.
Constructive striving for superiority
Adler maintained that a healthy striving for superiority includes altruism and social interest. This means we strive to become better not just for our own sake, but also because we want to benefit society and help others.
If you want to overcome this complex constructively, find areas where you can improve your skills and use them for the good of others. It might be work, volunteering or simply supporting and caring for those close to you. When your striving for superiority is aimed at helping others, it becomes more constructive and brings more satisfaction.
Overcoming the inferiority complex
An inferiority complex is a state in which a person gets fixated on their weaknesses and shortcomings, feeling inferior and inadequate. It can lead to withdrawal, passivity and avoiding life’s challenges. Learn to accept your weaknesses as part of what makes you unique. Notice your achievements in different areas of life, even small ones. This will help you see your strengths and your progress, which will strengthen your self-esteem.
Practical steps towards a balance between superiority and the feeling of inferiority
- Becoming aware of your feelings of inferiority and your striving for superiority is the first step towards balancing them. Keep a journal or talk your feelings through with someone you trust or with a psychologist.
- Set achievable, realistic goals. Do not strive for the ideal; focus on progress and growth. Work with your Inner Critic and your own perfectionism.
- Take up activities that benefit others. Ask yourself what useful things you could bring into the world around you. Start with the close circle of your family, then turn to your friends and simply the people around you. Look back over your experience and recognise your strengths, skills and competences. Do not be afraid to share with the world: that is how your strength and resources are renewed.
- See mistakes as a chance to learn something new and grow, not as proof of your inferiority. In any situation, even the most unpleasant one, ask yourself: “What is this situation for?”, “What can I do right now?”, “How can I grow through this experience?”
- Read books, take courses, pick up new hobbies. Self-development helps strengthen self-esteem and find new paths to self-realisation.
Parents serve as role models, and children often copy their behaviour and attitudes. If parents show self-confidence and healthy self-esteem, children are likely to follow their example. However, if parents themselves suffer from an inferiority complex or strive for superiority, this can be passed on to the children too. Parents who support their children in their social interactions help them develop communication skills and self-acceptance. Children who receive support and guidance in different social situations become confident in their social skills and gain a sense of their own worth.
The harmony of opposites within us
Alfred Adler’s theory of superiority and inferiority helps us understand that these feelings are a natural part of our human nature. Instead of fighting them, we can learn to use them for our own growth. A balance between striving for superiority and accepting our own inferiority helps us live a more conscious and fuller life.
We also see that parents play a key part in the formation of a superiority-inferiority complex in a child. Parenting style, emotional support and parents’ behaviour have a huge influence on how a child’s self-esteem develops. Understanding these aspects can help parents create a favourable environment in which a child can grow into a healthy, balanced person.
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Anna Shyman, psychologist, lecturer at the Psyvision centre
