Анна Шиман
Draft translation. This text was translated automatically and has not been proofread yet — if something reads oddly, it does.
Did you ever suspect that from the moment we are born we strive to fulfil the most important goal of our lives — to know ourselves, others and the world around us?
The process of knowing is endless, and it works in such a way that we come to know ourselves in relationships with other people. Thanks to the people in our lives, we discover ourselves and light up our inner depths with the light of awareness.
From childhood we look at our parents and those close to us as if into a mirror. It is precisely thanks to the very first and most important people in our lives that we not only come into the world but also form a basic understanding of ourselves: who we are, what we are like, what we think of ourselves, how we judge ourselves.
Incidentally, our parents also have their own basic ideas about themselves, others and the world. And they share with us everything they know. They share it out of love — to equip us with everything we need for an independent life.
It is wonderful if all of this suits us and, lifted on the wings of our parents’ rules, values and ideas, we fly towards our own growth.
Let us say straight away: not everyone is so “lucky”.
And some people still go through life leaning on the “baggage” they got from their parents, which is often weighed down by the parents’ own unresolved issues.
So what happens to us next?
We grow up and go out into the world.
What are our tasks?
First: to survive. To look after our body and our health. To keep ourselves safe. To learn to earn money and provide for ourselves.
Second: to learn to build relationships with our fellow human beings. To exchange resources, to get to know ourselves.
Third: to grow inwardly and outwardly. To unfold our abilities and inclinations, to realise our own potential.
And many other tasks besides.
The main theme that often comes up in relationships is Love.
It is no secret that many people (if not all) are looking for Love. And they search long and hard for Happiness too — as a rule, in relationships with other people. You meet someone, your heart skips a beat, you fall in love. That’s it — happiness is here! This is Love! You throw yourself in head first, everything is spinning, a storm of emotions, euphoria, elation. But those who have been there know: the “harsh daily grind” inevitably sets in, followed by disappointments, grievances, upsets and not the most pleasant emotions.
“I’ve been sold a fake!” cries the disillusioned former “lover”, unable to believe that the happiness is over. That Love is gone.
Has this ever happened to you? Do you remember?
“Why is this happening to me?”, “Why am I so unlucky?”, “How do I find the Love of my life?” are common everyday questions.
The secret is simple and complicated at the same time.
A person’s main goal in relationships is to make sure they feel good in their relationship with themselves.
Suffering and disappointment arise because people are looking in the wrong direction. Look for Love and Happiness within yourself, and you will certainly find them!
What do you need to do first?
Here we mean the unpleasant “baggage” we carry from childhood.
Grievances against Mum and Dad. Resentment, disappointment, judgement, guilt, fears. They gave the wrong things, brought you up the wrong way, lived the wrong way — and of course that is exactly why happiness and love in your relationships with others aren’t working out now.
Whoever has thrown away what is unnecessary, outdated and heavy walks faster and travels light.
But if you are one of those still carrying this load, just stop and ask yourself:
- is it easy for me to walk?
- am I not tired of suffering?
- why am I carrying this weight with me?
- what am I afraid of?
The answers will surprise you! You will discover new directions. And you will get to know yourself from the inside.
Your task: to stop and unpack the “baggage”, to take stock. Keep what is needed and useful. Leave what is unnecessary, outdated and worn out in the past — that is what the past is for. And also to find something new and yours alone — your own meanings, goals and values. And bring them to life.
As long as we carry the old, heavy baggage and are forced to keep sorting through its contents, we enter relationships and, instead of Love and Happiness, trade old, worn-out junk, trying to patch the rips and holes in our old things with the help of other people.
Let go of what you don’t need, clear the clutter out of your soul, your mind and your life in good time. And then you will have Happiness, which lies in loving the most important person in the world — yourself. Because you will learn to see and accept that person as they truly are. Just as they are. And then you will have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide and nothing to be disappointed in. Then, in relationships, you will be able to look honestly into the Other as into a mirror, accepting both yourself and them. Out of total Love. Wrapped in Happiness.
Love to all.
We invite you to consultations with metaphorical associative cards: Online consultations with metaphorical associative cards
