Анна Шиман
Draft translation. This text was translated automatically and has not been proofread yet — if something reads oddly, it does.
The will to live. The psychology of personality.
Will is like an inner dominant that always points to the top-priority object of your aspirations and desires, even when a storm of uncertainty rages around you. It is not just the ability to make yourself get up off the sofa when it is autumn outside and the fridge whispers “come and get me”. Will is the true superhero of your personality, leading you to your goals like a brave guide through a dense, dark forest full of monsters and secret paths.
The mechanisms of will in psychology
Will is formed on the basis of several key mechanisms, among them:
Self-regulation — the ability to control your emotions and behaviour in order to reach long-term goals. Psychologists explain that self-regulation is like a muscle: the more you train it, the stronger it gets. So if you want to develop your will, start with small steps — such as giving up sweets in favour of fruit.
Locus of control. This term, introduced by the psychologist Julian Rotter, describes how people perceive the causes of their successes and failures. If you believe that your actions affect the results, you have an internal locus of control. This helps you take responsibility for what you do and strengthen your will. Think about it: why can’t you make yourself exercise? Is it perhaps because you think there is no point? Or, on the contrary, do you know that your health is in your hands?
Goal setting. Clear and specific goals help activate the will. Drawing up a specific plan of action helps you focus on results rather than problems. It is like building a house: first you draw the plan, then you lay the foundation. But some people prefer to start building straight away — and often what they build is castles in the air and nothing more. All the while expecting real results.
Real will vs. willpower
Now let us sort out two important concepts: real will and what is usually called willpower. We often confuse these terms, meaning by willpower the mechanisms of self-suppression and the inner critic (I wrote about the inner critic in this article).
- Real will is a conscious and sincere choice to move towards your goals. It is based on understanding your own values and desires. It is a will that shows itself in striving for development and growth, not in attempts to suppress your true emotions or desires. In other words, here we have the direction “towards”, and this is very important.
- Willpower, on the other hand, is often associated with rigid control over yourself, when you force yourself to do something you do not like. It is like trying to light a fire with a wet match — you can struggle for a long time, and the result will leave much to be desired. This kind of suppression often leads to inner conflict and even to guilt. If you keep telling yourself “I have to do this”, you will most likely run into resistance — and, as a consequence, into tiredness and disappointment. In these situations the driving force often turns out to be fear or other unpleasant states. Here we see the direction “away from”, which is hard to miss.
Will as the engine of personal growth
Will is not just a mechanism; it is a catalyst for personal growth. It helps us not only reach our goals but also develop self-awareness and self-respect. When you overcome difficulties and act in line with your values, you strengthen your confidence and build a positive attitude towards yourself. And from that attitude grow self-esteem and new possibilities.
- Overcoming obstacles. Every action based on real will strengthens your inner power. Remember how you decided to learn something new, be it driving a car or mastering recipes. Every obstacle overcome is a step towards your personal growth. It fills you with real strength.
- Developing responsibility. The more you trust your will, the more powerful you feel (powerful as in “I can”, not as in “I am owed”), and the more responsibility you take for your actions.
As the classic put it,
“He who has a ‘why’ can bear almost any ‘how’.”
When you realise that you are the one steering your fate, you become not only the author of your life but also its main Star.
Why develop your will?
Developing your will is like a constant workout for your soul.
Resilience to stress. A strong will helps you cope with difficulties. When the world around you seems chaotic, your inner strength helps you keep your balance — not just to wait out the bad weather, but to act in the meantime and steer your own course.
Reaching goals. You can dream about many things, but without will your dreams will remain just pretty pictures in your imagination. Will turns dreams into reality. And the lack of will turns you into a helpless person dependent on your fantasies.
Personal development. As you develop your will, you learn to understand your desires and set priorities, which helps you make more conscious decisions in life.
Will is your inner resource that directs you towards your goals and helps you make conscious decisions. Develop your will, and you will become not only the master of your fate but also a successful manager of your life.
Our Psyvision centre will support you on this path, helping you develop your will and self-confidence.
Remember that your life is your story, and only you decide what its plot will be. Your will is your strength, so be bold and create your own reality!
Anna Shyman, psychologist and teacher at the Psyvision Centre.
