Анна Шиман
Draft translation. This text was translated automatically and has not been proofread yet — if something reads oddly, it does.
On chance in achieving results.
We often find that our goals come true easily. And it seems that this happens without the slightest effort on our part.
What do we say in such cases?
“It just happened”, “it worked out”, “it was luck”.
People often, consciously or not, do not want to admit that they themselves influenced the result.
Why is that?
Because from an early age a person forms beliefs that become the guiding map of their social development. For the most part, as practice shows, inside we are all a little “not quite…”:
not clever enough, not active enough, not important enough, not competent enough.
Excessive criticism in childhood, a lack of praise and approval, or a harsh upbringing lead the child to stop getting satisfaction from results that come easily.
Over time the child begins to see them as worth little compared with the ideal image formed under the influence of the authoritative adults around them.
A script of suffering and of “not being enough” is firmly written inside.
“I’m not good enough to have this”
“I don’t deserve it”
“I won’t manage, it won’t work out for me”
“I’m not competent enough yet (I haven’t yet won the approval of EVERYONE)”
And so on.
But there are moments of clarity, and the person catches a state in which they and the world are in balance.
And then they get what they want without any visible effort. And still they do not believe it is their own doing.
Such a person always owes someone something and constantly feels unworthy. They owe everyone except themselves. They are afraid of being found out, afraid that they are not working hard enough and not suffering enough on the way to results.
So what comes of such a script?
The price of achievement is suffering and guilt towards those we believe we owe and who will judge us, approve of us and love us.
Naturally, under these conditions satisfaction does not last long, and the hamster wheel keeps turning.
Some people find their way around their own inner world with great difficulty and struggle to manage their own lives.
The psyche is arranged so that the inner attracts the outer, and never the other way round.
So what can be done?
To begin with, explore yourself and your inner world.
Studying psychology helps: it lets you see your inner “magnets”, which attract one set of circumstances or another. Later, having seen and accepted these “magnets”, a person gets the chance to do something about them and to manage their own life consciously.
An important part of overcoming suffering is accepting your own imperfection.
When we try to “hide” something from ourselves — our fears, negativity, or the “wrong”, “unworthy” parts of our personality and our drives — we end up “fighting” it in the people around us. We strive to correct their “flaws”, or we leave relationships because the pain and discomfort of these traits haunt us.
We want to have perfect people next to us, we want comfort for the Soul and the emotions.
We know exactly what the people next to us should or should not be like.
What for?
So as not to face the imperfection within ourselves.
The world is just and perfect. Everything is already in its place and happening as it should.
Negative reactions are merely reactions to our own inner “imperfection”, which in essence is nothing terrible or bad. What makes this content imperfect is our beliefs, prohibitions, attitudes and thoughts about our own “badness” and “unworthiness”.
It only seems that way through the prism of excessive demands on ourselves!
Plan and live your life around your own needs, goals and wishes, instead of tilting at the windmills of reflections in the world.
Explore your inner world, your inclinations, beliefs and thoughts that make you judge yourself as unworthy or bad.
Imperfection is a “frozen” place in the inner world, and it can be changed if you accept it as it is.
We are not Gods, we are only learning to be Gods!
Come and develop and grow together, meet and get to know your own perfection and imperfection together with the Psyvision centre for systemic personal development
Anna Oleksandrivna Shyman, teacher at the centre.
